"PARENTING WHEN YOUR CHILD IS AN ADULT"
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While every era has its defining characteristics, life today for adult children differs in so many ways that parents are often frustrated, confused, even angry in interactions with their offspring. Adult children still may turn to parents for help and support while feeling infantilized or humiliated when parents criticize them or tell them what to do. Parent/ adult children strains are increasing because:

1. Economic dependence and social change have blurred the lines between childhood and adult life. Adult children remain dependent on parents long into "traditional adulthood" causing confusion and stress. There is no separate word for adult children, so parents often refer to their "kids" whether they are in their twenties, thirties, even fifties.
2. Forty-six per cent more adult children now live at home with parents than a generation ago, creating potential tensions and resentment.
3. There is a distressing increase in the number of adult children choosing to break off contact entirely with parents, fueled by geographic mobility, a "me first" attitude, and poor conflict resolution skills.
4. As parents are remaining active and living longer, they need to shift their focus from active parenting to enhancing their own lives grows more imperative.
   

We felt compelled to write this book as there are more of our sons and daughters needing our help in some ways and because their generation is so different from ours in many areas. There are thousands of books offering advice on how to raise children until they reach 18 but a scarcity of books or talk shows who reach out to parents of adult children (who are supposedly grown up and therefore are no longer a challenge). For us personally, having adult children has been a phase of soul-searching, questioning, sometimes hurt feelings and often confusion. Parents want to help but are not always sure what is helpful. Or children ask for advice but don't follow it. They want approval, but don't necessarily act in ways to garner approval. They may lack direction or change their minds, fall apart or plunge ahead. At the same time, we feel ourselves ageing, wanting to make changes, redefining ourselves.

This book looks at a variety of issues that often create conflict and offers suggestions to strengthen relationships, keeping them on mutually satisfying ground. Parents want to nurture a relationship based on friendship and respect, not dependence. It is a time to shift from a controlling, directive role to one of support. At the same time, parents can focus more on their own lives, viewing this phase as an opportunity for growth, for deepening love relationships, and having fun!
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Frequently Asked Questions

"ZIP YOUR LIPS: A PARENT'S GUIDE TO BRIEF AND EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION"